Bisayang Tagalog with Taglish! (This is a saksakan ng sinagol)

SANG araw habang ako ay naglilibang sa bahay ay nahuhuna ko it’s been awhile na diay. Medyo matagal tagal na na hindi ako nag gimik. Parang ang huli kong labas was when I went to the this videoke with my cousin. Oo nga isip ko. Medyo dugay na. Kaya sinabi ko sa aking sarili na dapat siguro maglibang libang din ako sa labas. Pero ang problema ko ay asan ako pupunta. I did not want to meet up with that bully of a guy, katong nagmaneho ug sakyanan, remember? And the other powent was I wanted to be with my cousin also. Ang gibuhat nako was tinawagan ko yung san-pits ko:

Ako: San Pits, this me, your cousin, remember?
San Pits: Alangan, kinsay bay makalimot sa iyo. What can I did for you?
Ako
: Mingaw man ko uy. Gawas ta beh, it’s been dugay already since we met.
San Pits: Lagi bitaw, Later, asa man ta. (unya, asa man ta bah!)
Ako: Ambot lagi. Asan man ta go? Mahadlok man kung matagpuan nato tong dakong mama.
San Pits: Ha? Daku diay imong Mama?
Ako: No, No I meant katong dakung one hell of a man!
San Pits: Ah kato! Yes I hinumdum him. Pero asan man ta adto?
Ako: I have no earth talaga.
San Pits: I see, sige ganito na lang, mag met na lang tayo tapos tan awun nato!
Ako: Unsay tan awon nato?
San Pits: Sus intawon masyadong namang mababa and low IQ mo, insan.
Ako: Sorry, daghan man me problems kasi right now, golly!
San Pits: Then all the more mag kita ta! Adto na lang diri my house in the middle of the street, our house, in the middle of the street.
Ako: Ha?
San Pits: Wala, I suggest adto na lang diri.
Ako: Sige.

Paghuman nakung tawag sa iyaha I went to the kubeta to take my bath. Pirteng inita man it was so I felt so hot talaga, wow man! Gee, it really was, iring gi apas.

Now na-a koy habit pag ako ay naliligo. Kumakanta ako ng daghang songs. And one of my favorites is “Like a Virgin.” So gi abre naku ang poset, (bisaya lagi!) and I was shocked beyond my bisaya tang, tongue pala. Walay tubig, no water, walang tubig!

And here I was in the opening lines, “I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through…” Unya walay tubig? Are we in Manela? Are we in Loosoon? Maayo na lang na wala pa ko nag soap kasi kung soap ako sobra pa sa virgin ang nawong nako.

I waited and cursed the lack of water because dagan na ko ug singot falling like flies, it was so kadiri! But I guess I was heard kay taod taod in a while naa nay tubig. Unya kusog pa kayo the rush of water, oh my! So gipuno nako ang aking pail, sosyal! Unya nag wisik wiskik ko gamay sa akong ilok( Ewwwww!) and finally nag bu-bu ko and sabay syagit ug: like a birgen, tatst por da beri perst time. Hay nag syagit intawon ko uy! One more time, you’re so pine and you’re mine, I’ll be yours till the end of……

Untya nakuratan ko, kasi out of nowhere may sumigaw! “Hoy kanang naga kanta diha! Hastang yabaga nimo, samok! I almost fell to my lapa lapa. And my tuhod were trembling so badly kay nahadlok lagi ko.I wanted to shout back but I felt na ayaw na lang kay basig mag away lang mi because of a virgin? Not worth it noh! So I did the next best thing. I changed songs.

“I’m lying alone with my head on the phone, thinking of you till it hurts/ I know you hurt too but what else can we do, tormented and torn apart, I’ am all out of…. Then na -ay nibundak sa kasilyas of mine. “Hoy kanang birhen na air supply samok, yabag ka ra. Ayaw na ug kanta or else makatikim ka talaga ng kumo nako. I was so surprised at the violence of it all. I was kurogated, nangurog ko. And this time, I stopped singing na. Nahadlok na ko. I decided to recite a poem: Twinkle twinkle little bitu-on, how I wonder unsa ka. Up above the kalibutan so high, like a dyamon in the kalangitan! Then suddenly the voice that was shouting at me, suddenly I heard it say:

“I’m a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout…” And so I replied, “my toes, my knees, my shoulder my head….” And not to be outdone ni kanta sya ug balik, ” ba ba black sheep have you any wool….” After that I got scared, nakuyawan ko kay basig boang ning silingan nako, you never know, you know. So I stopped singing loudly, I just whispered, “I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you…”

And then I heard the voice say, “naminaw kooooo!”

With that I stepped out of the toilet and nagpunas ako. Nag ilis ko, butang perfume ug lotion, and nag pa pogi. I was ready to go out with my cousin.

Hay…nallingaaw pud siguro kayo basa sa aking maiklling kwento…mao ra ‘to..that’s ol..

repost by the Author

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13 Comments

  1. kataaw-anan…Bwahahahhahaha

  2. bwahahahahhahaha!kantong katawa eto ha!dili sosyal ako laugh!!!haha!ano man ka gud oi!katawa naman talaga mhe!wehehe!

  3. hi jan,

    nalingaw jud mi ug maayo sa ako sis, sabay panganta pud…. hahahhahahahah……….post pag daghan ani nga story…

    theladybehind

  4. Wal pa nako nabasa ang tibuok nga story. Per very interesting kaayo. Nag-reserach ko ron sa saksak sinagol nato nga lingwahe. I would love to qoute your work sa akong research.

  5. ok….way kurat na Lexis…salamat sa pagbasa…

  6. wee lingaw… kanang.. pde nakow borrowhon? naa lang koi g-himo nga project nya dapat man naay lingaw…. hopefully okay ra nimow? lamatxz…

    if dili kay i-email lang kow para ma dli nakow ma apil.. thnx agen

  7. waaaa

    kulang man to oi!!

    biTin…

    wala na bang oThers jan?
    ehehhehe

  8. hello thegurlbehind– wala na jud…kana lang jud xa…

  9. JEJEJJEJEEJEJEE EWAN KO SA INYO I DID NOT UNDERSTAND SA INYONG GINA HAMBAL YOU SUCH A LOZER1!111!11

  10. hello AISHTERU wag mo nang intindihin mahirap din silang intindihin eh…hahhhhahahah…atleast napatawa ka nila.

  11. bhahahahahahahahahfunny talaga imso loughing here in my house

  12. I used to be very happy to seek out this net-site.I wanted to thanks on your time for this excellent learn!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you weblog post.


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