Joke should to be funny

THERE are classic food jokes, invariably set in a restaurant.

The opening scene has a famished man sipping his piping hot soup, and an overworked waiter. The dialogue goes this way:

Customer: Hey, waiter!

Waiter: Yes, sir?

Customer: What’s this in my chicken noodle soup?

Waiter: Chicken, sir.

Customer: I mean this black Unidentified Flying Object with feet, floating in my soup. I think it’s a fly.

Wait: Oh, so sorry, sir. We ran out of ants.

And there’s this sick joke about siopao (pork buns) being stuffed with cubed cat or rat meat because they’re cheaper cuts and can be passed off as chicken or pork.

You become more careful from that moment onward and try to examine it first,instead, before eating “suspicious” food.

Corny to some, funny to many, and it’s only a joke, right? But it can really happen it then.

You dread what’s in your pork buns-chicken, pork or a combination of cat-rat meat? No wonder your stomach feels as if something is running inside after finishing a bun bought from a sidewalk vendor.

Another one: A lady in the restaurant.
To her horror, she saw black objects stuck at the bottom of her mug. She bought espresso and wondered why there were coffee beans in her mug.

It turned out to be droppings left by a rat. She fell ill from drinking of that special brew. It was a good thing the restaurant footed her bill and something was done about the rat mishap.

These isolated cases do have a good side: they make restaurants sharpen their sanitation(good for them..).

All starts well that ends well, except that the bug that hit her was an amoeba. She now has a stomach pet for life, just like me.A quotation says: “Your stomach has become a reliable “barometer” for food cleanliness”.

A few years ago, back in my grade school years, this was during my patid-patid sa lata days or when I had no fare for my way back home I used to play an empty can just to keep myself busy all the way home (joke!). I took lunched at a sidewalk carinderia,along with my classmates. Suddenly the owner of the store offer us a buns, she said that it would be good for our merienda. I wanted to buy also coz almost all of my companion brought the said siopao(buns), but as i remembered the joke of my father about the chicken buns that wrapped and flavored with rat-cat meat with eggs, I decided to buy bread instead.

There were even times I also had my close encounter with alien objects in my food on my plate. I’ve had fly in my plate-and whatsoever, the variety has been interesting.

Cockroach limbs, ant heads or feet, wings of an insect I still can’t identify and the classic fly-in-my-soup.

I was in my friend’s house for a dinner, she invited me for a so called “get-together party”, I’ve eaten the best fresh salad, consuming my whole plate like a good innocent human creature on earth, only to discover a half-eaten green worm, curled like the letter C (Eww! Luckily I spit it out).

It looked so vulnerable. And my friend told me. “How can your body stand if you eaten the worm?” she asked.

Eating odd non-food has made me paranoid or hopefully, a philosopher (in my dreams…).

A lettuce worm is vegetarian and so, the contents of its intestine can be considered clean. Its last meal, after all, was my first course.

Being an animal, it’s a source of protein. Not bad. Protein stuffs my muscles and so I breathe deeply. I am safe-unless the lettuce plants were sprayed with insecticides, in which case, I’m dead.

But then worms can’t survive harsh environments, thus I relax again. I remember my Unlce Joe telling me that in Butuan, his friend, who is a Manobo, taught him how to eat abatod or larvae of a certain bug that thrives in coconut trees (a bigger version a worm I almost eat).

“They fry it in its own fat. There’s nothing to it, Uncle said. “It tastes like young coconuts.”

I still have wanted to have my first abatod (only if I can handle the pressure eating it..); I don’t have an idea and how can I remember the taste of green worms (if I only tasted it); and I swear, fly in my food has made me forget many other unpalatable experiences in life.

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2 Comments

  1. lol!.. these are really funny.. thanks for sharing :)..

  2. Yes!…hello there..thank you very much for a nice comment…;) and thank you for reading then…hope to read more comments from you…hahhaaahah


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