Pinoy Jokes!part4- The pResiDenTiabLeS

Erap’s Prayer

Gambling father
who art in jueteng
hakot be thy name
thy kickback come
thy wealth be done,
in Wack-Wack as it is in San Juan .
Give me this day
My daily bribe
And conceal all my sins
As I conceal those who sin along with me
And if I am Led into temptation
Deliver me from criticism
For mine is the country,
its power, and its money
forever and ever. Amen.

Response:

Aba Ginoong Estrada
Napupuno ka ng kwarta
Ang panginoon ng jueteng ay sumasaiyo
Bukod kang pinagpala sa lahat ng bobo
At pinagpala ka naman ng kay raming
kulasisi mo.

Erap’s Mi ultimo Adios

Mi parte de jueteng wala na.
Mis compadres y lords nabuking na.
Los mansiones de mis
queridas ini-imbistiga
Mis amigos de la Camara el
ultimo pagasa. wabert

GMA and Erap

GMA: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3 in 1 coffee mo at kanina ka pa silip nang silip dyan?
Erap: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na “Sugarfree.”
GMA: Bobo! Banda yun!

My First Cake

This week seems a busy chore of my life, although I always pretend that I’m busy but truly it is. πŸ™‚ This is a surprised and unexpected treat to myself. I never experienced this before. You know what it is?…to have my first cake at work!

To celebrate a Birthday is a very happy and enjoyable to the part of a celebrant, because commonly this were the time where family, friends and “whoever” joined to celebrate with him/her. And for that thing, I’ve first experienced my first cake at work. At work, take note, at work. Although, uhmm…maybe in some other people this have been an ordinary scene to them. But as I worked before, I never get a chance to had a cake, sung happy birthday song, make a wish and blew a candle on my work place. Sounds naive but truly captured my heart, very over whelming.

I have a wonderful time spending with them as my Birthday was celebrated at the office where it is a home. By having this freedom, I would like to extend my sincere thanks for you guys…

cake.jpg

Why I Blog?

As I started blogging, I’ve enjoyed all the topics that I have been posted. For a beginner, It had been developed my knowledge on what is weblog (known as blog) means all to me. I have learned in some other way (though the nature of my work is similar to say a “blogger”). I read on those any blogs that caught my interest and in a little way I learned. It is an essential way on my side to become more open minded and be a professional in a way.

I’ve known lots of bloggers (one of them is my Boss) and joined lots of forums and communities on the blog world or should I say on the blogosphere, take some conversations and also to promote my blog and at the same time make friends through blogging.

For me, blogging gives me authority to publish myself — personally, like what I’ve been experienced, opinions or views in a certain issues or profound articles, my likes and don’t, hobbies etc. or simply do a topic even it’s not related to, just “whatever”. It’s simply anything under the sun.

I liked it when I read lots of comments (both positive and negative) in a certain topic that I’ve been posted. It means that there are people who’d read my article/s and simply they just found it interesting to read (*charing!*). Imagine?…for so many sites all over the world wide web, still… there’s some person/s who have got clicked my site, read and leave a comment afterwards. That’s one of my moderation why I post another topic again and again and again. I blog…blog..blog…because I just simply loved to read comment/s. ha!ha!ha!

As what I have known before, when I hear the term web log or Blog is just like a forum that is usually provide commentary or news of a certain issue/s. It published views, opinions, commentaries in particular and a professionalized way of journalism.

Looks like the Information Technology had come a long way. Many of todays individuals have their online journals. Everyone has its own concept on their professionalized and personalized online diary.

Why I blog?… I enjoyed it. πŸ˜‰

Enjoy blogging!

Synopsis – ” Love comes…away? “

Today is Valentine’s Day. Our school had it’s finest treat for today’s celebration. Every participating clubs in our school had its one of a kind presentation and enjoyable treats for this whole day fair. All active school clubs had a different treats to give fun and enjoyment to both teachers and students in school. Other clubs sell flowers and chocolates. Good idea for them, ‘coz some boys would buy those and gave to their someone special. Nah! I experienced that thing before, that was when We haven’t got that “Coffee Break“. Some clubs do the message on the air, where everyone can send a message to a box for just 5 pesos and for a minute a message will be read by one of the member of the club. Well, any message you want to send doesn’t matter anyway. It doesn’t make any sense at all. Just for fun and to raised funds for the school club.

I haven’t got any idea on how I will handle my responsibility as a treasurer. My group had a fancy wedding treat, this was the class got a majority votes during the last day meeting. It compromises with a fake priest, fake rings and fake marriage contract. The concept of this fake wedding is never be done without the acceptance of both parties, because we’re going to take a fake wedding from those partners who want fun and just have a fancy wedding treat with their loved ones. For any reasons, lots of partners and lovers take the test to have a fancy wedding. I had a fun time looking at them, got fancy wed and got kissed in the end when the priest says, “You may kiss the bride..”. Looks like a true wedding but a fancy after all.

We’ve got a lot of money by having this fancy wedding. It would be a very good idea to raised funds.

As I keep myself busy for taking care for the money from whom the couple pay for their fancy wedding. One of my classmates pull me up on my sit. I got confused and wondered why they started pulling me in front of our fancy made church altar. One of them wore me a silky cloth that we used in order to accomplished a wedding. I got an idea directly on my mind that I’m sure, I’ll be the one to put on this fancy thing. My heart beats faster and beats even faster as I knew whom the person I would fancy wed to. It was him. I’m quite shocked and certainly do nothing. Instead, I just stay on the other side of the altar. Mixed emotions I guess, that would be the reason why I can’t move my feet and still do nothing at all. I just bow down my head and observe what He will trying to do. I heard crowd teasing and got an enjoyment watching us in front of the fancy altar. I saw his feet beneath mine. He was an inch beside me. As everyone laughing and teasing, the fake priest whom our class president do the fake wedding ritual. I have this terrible feeling. It’s like I’m broken into pieces. I just don’t know how to express it. I looked at him. He’s smiling and can’t looked my eyes straight. I hear “and now you may kiss the bride…”. Toinks! I’m a volcano erupted. “What?…”, I said. “Why?…is there something that cause us trouble?..” he said. Woohhh…teasing on the crowd. I felt better when He said those words. Slowly He get on his face to mine. He kissed me on the cheeks. He whispered something. (Wanna know?…”Secret!…hahahhaha”)

After that warmth kissed. I walked away. I am in a catastrophe if I will wait what would be the next after. It would be my failure if I expect something better after that but turns that event into my great loss.

That day results miscommunication. I don’t know what I expect or rather he expect. We’re no longer communicating each other and for that fancy wedding had done. What would we both expect?

To be continued… πŸ™‚

To Whom Who Cares

Early this morning as I opened my email account to read some messages. I noticed one subject that gets my attention. It’s one of my friend in school gave me the forward message entitled “BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS “.

Whaaah! I’m quite afraid to read the content of this thing. It would be brain damaging to my side if I read this topic. I guess I would have heart attack than cerebral damage. Am I paranoid?…No, I’m not. I’m just kinda’ have a excessive anxiety about health matters, especially my brain. Toinkz!

As I click the subject title and slowly open the content of the topic. I read every word as what it goes. And it goes…

“Forward: PLEASE READ—-TAKE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH” –Live Life Without Limits!

BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS

1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level.
This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration. (“God, I haven’t take my breakfast this morning, or maybe I should say I haven’t take any breakfast ever since…I have my work at 7 am and absolutely no time for food…I need coffee! grrr..“)

2. Overeating

It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power. (“I eat too much at lunch ‘coz it’s BRUNCH anyway, Is this overeating?..ohhh, I’m kinda’ vomit here… “)

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease. (“ This is the good thing… I do not smoke!…Bwahahahah…relief! “)

4. High Sugar consumption

Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development. (“I loved sweet foods, I’m not only diabetic person…but…have brain disease thing?…no way!…“)

5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency. (“I stayed in place away from those “ma-alikabok” and air polluted place..nice one!..hahaha“)

6. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells. (“I worked more as much as I sleep..better change my way..uhmmm..where’s my pillow?..“)

7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects. (“wooh!…I’m not used to it. I sleep with lots of pillows all over my bed but I don’t have this habit either…“)

8. Working your brain during illness

Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain. (“hay… the worst thing to be felt by myself is to get ill..I hate medicines, injections etc. Lucky I have this immune system strong enough to crushed viruses..“)

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage. (“If there would be three words to describe my work everyday…is that I think, think?, think! Good stimulation, I had my limits also…my brain needs rest, so am I.“)

10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain. (“I’m talkative!..uhmm..that’s all…“)

After reading those things. I’ve learned something new. In order to have a good and healthy body. I guess I have to take my daily routine in a proper way. I always work and seems like I forgot to take good care of my health. As what other says: “Health is wealth“. Mao ra ba jud ang kapital sa tanan, unsaon nalang.

Better check yourself guys… Are you healthy enough?

Synopsis – “School Ball”

As the February 14 activity in school is fast approaching. It has been a normal day for me when I step up the lobby of the school to take my class. But I guess I can’t finally torn myself out of this Valentine’s School Activity. Our class adviser were discussing something about the fair. I know there’s something for our class to do in the February 14. I just don’t have a good mood to have this activity to be celebrate. I missed him. After the “Coffee Break and Love hurts” brings myself yelled a total disorders.

Suddenly, I hear my classmates shouted and still on the topic they’ve been talking for almost an hour. They’ve enjoy on what they have come up on the meeting. I heard my teacher says, “Okay, I will leave all the responsibilities to our class officers, If you have any problem about the activity, Just let me know,okay? ” and almost all of my classmates agree. After that session, I decided to take a walk. I went to the school canteen and find our class president. I am the treasurer of the class and I haven’t intended to know my obligation because of this predetermined feelings. “uhmm…well, from the word itself, I’m taking for the money matters for sure“. hay… Better to be sure for any reasons.

The canteen is very small to occupied lots of student in school. So noisy! In a hurry, I quickly look on all the students who were there and find the class president. Even though, it’s noise chatters around, still I heard someone shouted my name. I tried to look who called me. Unfortunately, I found nothing. I come up on my mind that if the class president is not here maybe in some other place. I decided to walk out on the canteen and headed my way to the library.

I heard someone shouted my name. I stopped walking and finds the person who’d it be. Suddenly, I found nothing again. It happens two way in a row. I heard it clearly that someone’s calling me, but I found nothing. Am I insane in hearing things? owwww.. I just rolled my eyes and continued walking along.

I’m kinda’ confused on what I have encountered today. Eyeballs rolling…

To be continued… πŸ™‚

Top Television shows mimicked

For today’s edition!

Sometimes I was thinking of being one of the influenced person in entertainment industry and put up my own entertainment career known in present. I just wondered before I wrote this topic is that we’re entertained on those Television shows that we usually see, hear and read. That those shows originated years ago and until now invades the Universe and make history up to this present.

That’s why if I will put up my own entertainment shows nowadays, I will surely do some revised version of the top shows here in and out of the country.

American Idol– sounds familiar right?…It is one of my favorite reality shows, because millions of aspiring persons go on for audition and shows what they got. uhmmm….If I would be given a chance to have a singing competition. I will make another version of this show. What if?, instead of millions of people go on for audition and shows that their talent is perhaps lots of “Animals” ( hahahahahah ). I prefer to call the show “Animal Idol“. What you think?,,, Instead of human performing on stage…”Animals” either… I loved “Alvin and the Chipmunks“, and I guess It would be very nice and very entertaining show ever. Lots of animals will be coming in for auditions. Eng!

Amazing Race- uhmmm… you know what?… I like the nature of this reality game show. Contestants will race and travel the selected countries all over the world and accomplished all task given to avoid the possibility of eliminating. Now, with my own version of this game, paired teams will travel the 360 degrees Globe and at least they must go through the 200 countries and perform such task indicated on the country’s tradition. In order to win the game, the teams will be given time pressure, ah…maybe for about 360 hours also (hahahahahha… nagpa-contest pako kung walay winner…). What an expensive reality game show? Much money involves…(Lugi na ako masyado…). I will revised the title to “Corrupting Race“.

Big Brother- What would be the impact if “Big Brother”is not actually “big”? …He’s like a 3 feet man with a huge dress. He is millionaire and the only contestant accepted here are all girls…because the winner will take “Big Brother” home. hahhahahah… I’ll call it “Big Brother: The All Girls Bachelorette Edition“.

Who wants to be a millionaire?, Deal or No Deal, et al.. will be the next of my project.

Uhmmm… my psychiatrist is waiting in my room…We will have a meeting and I guess we’re going to discuss my next projects…So, see you then for my next pluging of my up coming shows.