June as a wedding

WAXING “proetic” (from prose poetry), that’s what June brings us this year.

Weary of the prose that inhabits this L-shaped space year in and year out, we consider poetry—only to dash the thought away, like waves in the ocean breaking against a cliff. A poem, in the academic sense, is too difficult to conceive with its structures, metaphors, voices and careful choice of words. On the other hand, a prose poem is a kindly, elderly woman rescuing you from a dilemma. With her white-hair wisdom, she may not be pretty as a picture but her inner beauty and ample breasts nurture your nascent ideas.

In form, she helps you express a thought in Belgian lace but at the same time she offers the toughness and utility of denim in prose. A prose poem in itself is a marriage of two literary forms: poetry’, which discusses the real in aesthetic words, ideal thoughts; and prose, which expresses the ideal in real everyday words and thoughts. What makes prose poem lovelier than prose or poetry is that it usurps what is known as poetic license. It can sin a little with nary a punishment for being an errant knave.

Thus I see June as a wedding
Singlehood’s grand ending
A stepping-into unknown territory
Only Jove knows if you’ll be sorry
June is a bride walking down the flowery aisle
June is a groom walking down his last mile
June is a bouquet made of lilies, orchids and roses
June is hope that love entwined never reposes
Each step in June takes a coupled heart
Closer to a future they can’t foresee
Whether they stay anchored or each depart
Because of life’s ague and rough sea
They say their vows like an incantation
Wishing the mystery be parted in revelation
June is tandem walk only the brave take
June is a walk that also the foolish make
June is a decision not to be trifled
June demands time and not a yes, riffled
With candles lighted, hope springs eternal
That darkness will not make life infernal
That each coin encased in silver cage
Will tinkle-awake prosperity in each stage
Of this shared life bound by veil and cord
Fragile ties that can fall on their own accord
June is a prayer book clutched by a child
June is a need the weather would be mild
June is time to wish and hope
June will be kind to those who jump the rope
No way you can guess who will trip or stay
In the game of romance with its ups and downs every day
June is cold church floor strewn with flowers
June is a path full of motley surprises
That hamper or ease a couple’s journey
How they take it, is your guess only.

Sun.Star Cebu

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A Piece of Something

NOT all people are right for you and conversely not all relationships are good for you. Try as you will there will always be people who will be different perhaps from you. Not all relationships work out and not all relationships will benefit you. That is a sad truth but it is truth nevertheless.

But let us not blame ourselves for that. It is simply that. We cannot change that reality even if we wanted too. When relationships fail they do not do so because of a lack of commitment. They fail for a variety of reasons that could range from values to time. We cannot blame ourselves if we have failed relationships. It is just the way things are.

A writer, David Viscott once said “There comes a time in some relationships when no matter how sincere the attempt to reconcile the differences or how strong the wish to recreate a past of the past once shared, the struggle becomes so painful that nothing else is felt and the world and all its beauty only add to the discomfort by providing cruel contrast.”

I was struck by two thoughts in that line. The first was “There comes a time in some relationships when no matter how sincere the attempt to reconcile the differences.” All of us want all our relationships to work. We all want harmony in everything. When we hurt someone and when we care enough we try to med that relation.

We go out of our way and we try to heal the hurt. We become humble enough to reach out to the person and let the person know of our mistakes and selfishness. We apologize and we say sorry and we hope for the best. Most of the time it works.

But there are turning points too. There are moments that through the grace of some divine power show us that no matter what we do, no matter what we say, things will not just work out. The sincerity thing will not even be an issue anymore because things just will not work out.

How many of us and I believe there are many of us who through sincerity wish to be reconciled with those who have hurt us? Most of us are not evil and we wish to live peacefully. Most of us would rather live in a world pf peace. Most of the time that works. But there are breaking points.

The second thought that struck me was “the struggle becomes so painful that nothing else is felt.”

You can look at that two ways. The first is the struggle in the relationship becomes so painful. The only thing that you feel is pain and nothing else. And when that happen the only thing to do is to terminate the relationship before it destroys you. You only have to look around and see that with grim reality.

Marriages were spouses have become enemies. Families were parents and children have become strangers. Former friends who have become bitter and cynical. There is only pain and suffering. And there is no recourse but to end it otherwise the relationship destroys you. You need to break free. You have to end it.

I asked someone how would she know if a relationship has ended. She said that I know it has ended when I lose respect for myself. And I guess that is true. When you are no longer yourself in the relationship, when you no longer do the things you like and you do things that are so against you that you lose your self respect, then it is time to move on.

More so when the other person does not show any respect for you. Showing no respect does not honor the relationship. Respect is paramount in any form of relationship.

The other way of looking at that thought is to understand that in a relationship the greatest insult is to feel nothing. To be indifferent to and about the person.

It is a lot better to feel something than to feel nothing. How would a husband feel if the wife does not ask him anymore where he has been? How would a child feel if the parent does not give a care about grades and school?

How would friends feel if they just say nothing in spite of some obvious mistake? Normally when we care about someone we react or respond to what. It is tragic to see and feel that no one reacts to you because to that person you simply do not exist anymore. Silence can be cruel.

We must nurture our relationships, those that we care for. We have to let go of those relationships that demean us, that hurt us and those that destroy us. But how do you know what relationships are good for you? What relationships are meant for your development and growth?

Sun.Star

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